Depression is an illness — a state of mind, a state of being that unfolds in such nuanced ways, that I cannot reduce it to a single classification. However, it is something I call a grave. Not everyone reaches it, but some do.
In this article, I’ll be focusing on two specific problems I believe contributes to depression among African youths: Culture and Gender norms.
As we know, culture differs across countries, but research has shown that it influences mental health in similar ways. In many cases, depression is seen as a weakness, a source of shame. Quite unsettling, isn’t it?
Psychological struggles are viewed as personal failings or weaknesses, rather than legitimate health concerns. This stigma, which has ingrained itself into society, desensitizes a lot of people — especially the male demographic from seeking help, inspiring them to suffer in silence, owing to the fact that manliness as painted by society must “flee” from the perception of anything that represents “weakness” or “fragility”. Quite skewed, no?
Women, on the other hand, face the expectation of catering to the emotional needs of others; being told to endure disrespect or hardships quietly and “valiantly”, being hushed at attempts to exert the human right that is, expression. These rigid roles and rules that somehow patriarchy has managed to keep alive, does not only contribute to the deterioration of their mental well being but ends up making them feel trapped as a result of undue pressure, and, bound by expectations that doesn’t allow them to express their true emotional needs or independent thoughts.
In many African cultures, the concept of collective identity is strong — family and community take precedence over the individual. This often leads to people prioritizing the well being of the “family” over their personal mental health, further deepening the internalization of emotional pain. The idea of “saving face” for the family often silences those who are struggling, especially in cultures where seeking therapy or discussing mental health is seen as taboo.
Sometimes, it is seen as a spiritual failing, with the condition attributed to a lack of faith or “spiritual weakness”. This leads to people feeling guilty or ashamed for experiencing depression, as they might believe that prayer or religious devotion can or should “fix” them.
That being so, due to institutional denial and persistent neglect, a lot of minds have been conditioned to adhere to specific emotional reductions — what to feel and how to feel — leading to dysfunctional personalities. These manifest in communication breakdowns, behavioral issues, rigid ideologies, and distorted perspectives.
Take gender norms, for instance. It is widely believed that a “man” should be firm in heart and mind, leaving no room for emotional vulnerability. Emotions are bottled up. And we all know what happens when a cup is filled to the brim.
Some then turn to violence — whether through physical assault, outbursts, or a sense of inferiority masked as superiority. Strength becomes synonymous with oppression, physical power, and the illusion of self-sufficiency. Ego-driven indulgences. They manifest in this way to feel a sense of control and importance, that which they are unable to achieve with their emotions.
This is why phrases like:
- “I’m a man, that’s why.”
- “Am I not a man?”
- “Men don’t cry.”
…are so prevalent.
It not only proves but sensitizes that the African society standalone — needs to become more emotionally intelligent. The harmful impact of rigid gender roles on people’s lives and families is staggering; I’ve seen it firsthand, I’ve read stories, and we witness it in our immediate surroundings. In the end, it’s the women, children, friends, etc., that are often on the receiving end and become impacted by the turbulence.
Society must begin to see humans beyond the rigid confines of “male” and “female” when addressing mental health and emotional intelligence. No one should feel excluded from the conversation. We all have a role to play — both individually and collectively — in dismantling harmful norms and fostering an environment where emotional well being is prioritized. True progress comes when we create spaces where vulnerability is not equated with weakness, but with strength.
However, while the call for change is societal, the journey to evolve our inner mind is personal. No one can take those steps for you. It is up to each of us to break free from the chains of expectation, to dismantle harmful rhetorics that are perpetuated in the name of tradition, to decide how far we are willing to go in healing and growing — This is how effective change is made, impacting others by impacting ourselves.
In seeking to understand and support each other, we redefine strength — not as stoicism, but as the courage to be human.
